Netiv: Now I'm Riled נתיב: עכשיו התעצבנתי

Looks like Netiv has managed to anger the Germans. Can’t say I blame the latter. Besides the futility of trying to recruit German (read: Russian-speaking) Jews to immigrate to Israel, let’s talk about the presumptuousness behind Netiv’s claim that its purpose is to inform Jews about their option to do so.

If I recall correctly, in 1948, when Israel declared its independence and thus that it was “open for business”, Jews from such far-flung locales as Yemen managed not only to hear the news, but to show up ― despite the absence of any electronic communication. So it’s pretty hard for me to imagine that in our day and age, wherein we have not only television and telephones but the Web, there’s a Jew on earth who doesn’t know about the option of immigrating to Israel.

It’s therefore clear that Netiv’s purpose is none other than perpetuating itself and keeping its personnel employed. There’s no other rational explanation for its activities, “semi-covert” or otherwise. The same thing might even be said for the Jewish Agency. I therefore propose that we “divide the empire”: The Jewish Agency will operate in the West, and let Chabad set up shop in the likes of Uganda and Jamaica.

It makes perfect sense: Chabad loves the challenge of Jew-hunting off the beaten track, and anyone that they convert and thus deem “immigratable” is certainly kosher enough for me. This will allow the Jewish Agency to operate in mainstream Jewish locales such as France, England, Australia, and the Americas, and the Netiv staff can quietly take their ball and go home.