I was listening to a 2009 radio interview with
Shulamìt Aloni yesterday. The host asked her to talk about the many articles
she wrote. She chuckled and said, “I did write lots of articles, and the best
ones are those I wrote when I was mad!” YES, I thought. That’s me!
So, two things that’ve made me mad lately:
This article concerning
the Eilat Orthodox school rejecting an Arabic language teacher due to her
wearing of the hijab; and this followup on
the Education Ministry’s commensurate policy. I’m so mad I can’t even see
straight. Where do we get off? There’re so many things wrong here, I don’t
know where to start. So I’ll just ask: What could be more appropriate in an Orthodox
school than a woman covering her head? Ah, but it’s the wrong kind of head
covering. Chelm, here we come!
My no. 2 thing that’s got me mad is admittedly a
classic First World Problem: My new keyboard. The Ctrl key on my old one got a
hole in it (I know - weird, huh? I don’t ordinarily use plastic-eating acid in
my line of work), so off I went keyboard shopping. How ‘bout I just list my
complaints chronologically:
- The store, Petcom, one of only a few (two?) in my locale, had a
selection of exactly three keyboards; two were for gamers. That left me
with the Microsoft 3000 wireless. Sold for ₪
210.00.
- Took it home to my office, opened package, which contained the
product plus a warranty and safety warnings. No user guide, no other
literature.
- Hooked it up and began using it. Works fine except the function
keys don’t work. Searched online and discovered that it has a Function
Lock key. OK, now why do I need this key? Presumably, I want all
the product’s features to function, do I not? OK, unlocked the functions.
Yay. [eyeroll]
- I notice a row of keys above the function keys labeled 1, 2, 3,
4, 5 and “star”. They do precisely nothing. I also notice to my chagrin
that there is no Stop key, which on my previous keyboard would stop a
webpage from loading. It was quite convenient. Now I am inconvenienced. Consulted
a colleague.
- Colleague says those keys are wild card keys, i.e., you can
program them to perform whatever task you want (walk the dog? Wash the
dishes?), but he doesn’t know how.
- Back to the Internet. Can find nothing. Sigh. Write Daughter’s
boyfriend, who sends me links to two clips about my product. I view clips.
- Clip 1 says the software comes with the keyboard, right there in
the box [frown of consternation]. Clip 2 mentions downloadable software. I
search.
- I find and download software. I program a key to do what I want
it to do.
The above succession of events took place over
the course of eight days from purchase. In between I went back to Petcom, where
no one could help me. Neither they nor the manufacturers at any point indicated
that software must be downloaded. The word “software” was neither uttered nor
written anywhere. And not only am I an adept computer user, but I’m compulsive
about reading and following instructions. No tearing open the box and plugging
it in for me, not I: I actually RTFM. As none came with the product, I actually
downloaded .pdf versions of the “product guide” and “quickstart guide”. The
former doesn’t mention software except for something called a Healthy Computing
Guide [condom use?]. The latter mentions it, but does not tell you where to get
it. No link. No link! Isn’t that one of the features of online help???
As First World Problems go, this is outrageous. And the maddening part is that
it would be so simple to fix. Just tell me I need software! Right there! Inside
the package! Where it makes sense!
OK, done. I hereby declare this post written in memory of
Shulamit Aloni, z”l, who tolerated neither intolerance nor stupidity. May she rest in
peace.
